My Enemy, My Lover
by Sueona
Summary: Raito, no matter what, would always be my enemy and my lover. L’s POV


**Summary: **

Raito, no matter what, would always be my enemy and my lover. (L's POV)

**Author Notes: **

I do not own Death Note, sadly.  This is a one-shot in L's POV. It is in first person and it will be a little fast forward. Some parts do not match up with the anime and it is AU. I hope you enjoy it and please tell me what you think.

**Onto the Story: My Enemy, My Lover. **

The night air was cold but comforting to me. I enjoyed the rain. Sadly, I knew as I stood in the pouring rain that my end was quickly approaching. My death would be coming from my truest rival and equal, Yagami Raito. I knew this but would do nothing to stop it. Strangely, I think my life meant little to me. Then again, it never did. Everyone saw me as a machine instead of a human being. It hurt deeply and I let myself show them what they saw in the first place. Also, I knew Kira would not win the war. He could win the battle against me, but he would not win against my heirs. They would beat him. I have the strongest faith within those three. When I heard the door open to the roof, I turned to look into red eyes. They were fierce like every other time, but there was some kind of deep emotion lurking beneath them that I couldn't figure out.

Raito asked calmly, "What are you doing out here?"

I heard every word spoken from his perfect lips. But I had to tease him a little. What is the point of meeting one's end without a little fun before it happens? There is none, what-so-ever. I held my hand to my ear, acting like I couldn't hear him. He repeated the words again but I didn't have enough fun. So, I shake my head with a small grin on my face to make him believe I still couldn't hear him. He saw through the act, of course, but none the less he walked out into the pouring rain.

'Good.' My mind spoke.

Why should I be the only one to suffer? I spoke without giving him time to get comfortable, "I hear the bells."

He looked at me confused, just the way I want him to be. Then, he answered with a question, "What bells? I don't hear them."

I acted surprise and mumbled, "Really? They are so loud." It was meant to tell him I know that I will lose my life soon. Turning my head away from him, I sighed, "Maybe there's a church near by for a wedding or…" I left the words hanging in the air. Glancing quickly at him, I could see he realized what I'm hinting at. That is one of the many reasons why my heart beats rapidly for him. Yes, I fell for a mass-murderer who believes he is god. And he knew this information about me. It was made clear when we were together intimate.

He did something surprising by speaking soft-spoken, "It has to be a wedding. Something happy."

For a split second I saw the real Raito peeking through before those cruel red eyes came back. My enemy stared at me like I was losing my mind. Maybe I am losing my mind. Wouldn't anyone snap when they knew for sure that they were going to die? Why did I fell for a murderer? The answer was simple; he was the only one leveled with me. Our conversation continued on about telling the truth and lies. The answers he gave me were the ones I predicted. It was when we were on the stairs and I was knelt before him, rubbing his feet that something shocking happened.

While he was drying my hair, Raito whispered, "Don't test the thirteen rule."

His voice sounded so much like a little child begging their parent not to leave them alone. That was what shocked me. I never thought he would say those words. When I looked at him, hiding all my emotions behind a blank expression, I asked, "Why not?" My phone began to ring, making me aware that my time was about done.

He grabbed my arm before I could answer and begged, "Please don't, Ryuuzaki. Please, don't test that rule. You will die if you do."

I could not understand why he would say all these words. He must have realized that the entire conversation was being recorded and that he was admitting being Kira. As I stood up in rage, scared for him not myself, I raised my voice, "Why will I die if I test that rule?" My anger was because he was admitting defeat and some part of me was hurt by it.

His head was lowered while he mumbled, "Because I set it up."

He confessed so easily. Did he fell for me too? Did he return my feelings? It didn't matter since my job was to capture Kira. I looked up sadly, wanting to forget the confession and go meet my fate. But that was impossible since Watari would have saw and heard everything. I looked down at the one who equaled me and stared at him for a good few minutes. His head was still lowered and the light cast against his brown hair. It made it glow. I leaned down and whispered, "This is the end, Kira-kun."

He only chuckled, "It was fun, L. My boredom was taken away."

Aizawa and Mogi walked over to us with shocked expressions. It would seem my caretaker told the others to quickly come. Did he believe Raito would harm me? My heart ached from the one I love given up. Red eyes glared up to me with a deep hatred. Kira came once again and this time he could not do anything.

Mogi stepped forward and replied in a sorrowful voice, "Yagami Raito, you are under…"

Raito sneered, "I don't need those lines. I already know them by heart."

Mogi stared at me while Aizawa looked ready to say something to Raito. Raito looked back at me and I felt my entire body shake, not in fear but from sadness. Our game was over. There would not be another time for us.

Raito stood proudly and sighed, "Well, I must admit, my stupidity got me caught. I would have won if I didn't warn you, L."

Rem appeared and stared at the scene. She looked at Kira and then at me. Finally, she threatened, "If anyone goes after Misa, I will kill them."

"So, that is how you were going to kill me." I said. "You weren't even going to do it yourself." My emotions over took me and I landed one mean punch on Raito. When his body fell against the ground, I hissed, "You were going to use others to kill me. You are truly disgusting." His eyes change back to the honey soft tone. It hurt my chest to see the innocence that was all a lie. He grabbed my arm when I walked past him. Shaking his hold off, I growled, "You did this. You deserve what I promised when I challenged you, death." Yes, I knew I was being cruel. Yes, I knew that I didn't want to lose him. But justice must prevail.

As he dropped his arm, Raito screamed, "I love you! I gave up all for you!"

I never saw him act like this before even when he had no memories of being Kira. I saw a cunning young man. My back was turned away from him. I didn't want him to see the tears flowing down my pale face. I choked out, "I could never love a monster like you, Kira-kun." Aizawa stared at me with shock written all over his face while Mogi looked between us. It looked like Mogi wanted to speak up. Before he could, I ordered, "Arrest Yagami-kun immediately and take him back to the holding cell."

"You will not go after Misa?" Rem asked but it was more of a threat.

I answered, "You must convince her to erase her memories again and give up the death note she has. Also, she must forget all about Yagami Raito." I gave no time for the shinigima to say a word. I walked away from a person who tore my heart apart.

Everything happened so fast. The authorities took Raito away right before my eyes. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I wanted to scream out that Raito couldn't be my enemy, Kira. Yagami looked ready to end his life and his son's. Watari and I convinced him that his wife and daughter needed him.

Yagami looked at me and asked, "Why did you have to be right?"

I had no answer to give him. I didn't want to admit that I wanted to be wrong this time around. All I could do was shake my head sadly without a word spoken. Aizawa looked at me with some kind of expression that I couldn't place. Maybe it was him feeling sorry for me or pity. Mogi left behind Yagami without speaking his thoughts.

After Aizawa left, Matsuda asked, "Will you stay?"

It did make me happy that someone wanted me to stay but I couldn't stay. It would be too hard for me to handle. Shaking my head at the one known for being an idiot, I replied, "I have other cases to work on."

"Or you are just running away." Matsuda stood up and spoke against me.

It would seem he saw through my farce. With a dead chuckle, I asked, "Would Matsuda-san be able to handle watching the one he fell for be sentenced to death?" He lowered his head and didn't say a word. The answer would be the same as mine. There was no way anyone could stay and watch their love be sentenced to death.

I left Japan that night, leaving behind all the memories that wished to break the title of L. Yes, I was being a coward. Who could have stayed knowing the one you fell for was going to die and it was because you let it happen? I was like any human being and couldn't stay to watch it happen. I disappeared from view for good, hiding behind my title once again. I kept in contract with my heirs, ensuring they were doing what was needed to be done. I found myself enjoying the little rival between Mello and Near. Matt always stayed in the background and only interfered if it looked like Mello was going to seriously harm Near. They reminded me of my rival against Raito. It hurt more than I could ever imagine.

Watari saw the change within me and asked one day, "Is this about the young Yagami?"

Of course, I did not answer. How could anyone answer that kind of question? It would mean admitting that I fell for a monster. Yes, Kira was a monster whom people will tell their children stories of him to keep them from misbehaving. It would become a past fairytale, but for those who lived through the Kira era. My caretaker asked again to show me that he wasn't going to back off of the topic. Without turning my head, I sighed sadly, "Of course it is." I do not go into details why Raito bothered me so much. Why would I share my darkest secrets? Watari sighed annoyed but left me be. It has only been a few months but I couldn't stop thinking about the teenager who rivaled me in everything and almost had me killed.

His words haunted me every day and night, 'I love you! I gave up all for you!'

They meant he did return my feelings but I couldn't see it or refused to see it. I didn't want to believe he gave his life up because he loved me. I couldn't let myself see his love because that meant my love wasn't as strong, which I hoped wasn't the truth. I would like to believe I loved him as much as he loved me. The phone beside me rang loudly making me jump startled. On the third ring, I answered, "Yes." It wasn't the greatest greeting but not many had my personal phone number.

"Ryuuzaki." A male's voice responded over the line. "I called to plead with you to come back here."

I have never heard Matsuda speak with such a strong voice. Deep inside, I wanted to hang up and throw the phone against the wall. Maybe it was time for me to stop running away. While contracting Watari through the computer, I sighed out my question, "Why?"

Matsuda answered, "They put Raito into a mental ward. He has been asking for you."

While I continued to type to my caretaker a message, preparing to head to Japan once again, I yelled, "What the hell are they thinking!? Raito could not handle being put there!" No answer came and I didn't expect one. Raito would rather have death than be put in there. I knew this because I would be the same way and Raito and I are the same. When I got a message back from Watari giving me the details when we leave, I replied, knowing Matsuda was still on the line, "I should be there tonight. I will call when I arrive." I hung up without letting the other answer back. There was no reason for me to continue the conversation.

Ten hours later, I was back in Japan, the place I swore that I would never return to. Matsuda was waiting since Watari gave him the information through email of when we would arrive. The shocking part was Yagami was also standing there. I stepped forward and greeted them, "It has been a long time, Yagami-san and Matsuda-san."

"A few months." Yagami replied.

I gave a nod. It has been maybe two or three months since we have seen each other. Turning out the busy crowd around us, I asked, "When will I be allowed to see Yagami-kun?" It was best to get straight to the issue at hand than pleasantries.

Matsuda answered, "Right now if that is okay with you. The place is about a ten minute-drive from here."

Why did I get a feeling the entire thing was a set up? One look at Watari told me that he and Matsuda talked before I was brought into the mess. It made me question what they weren't telling me. Yagami looked shamed and wasn't meeting my eyes at all. Maybe he did something to get his son out of jail time, claiming insanity. It was always a possibility. I agreed that it would be best for me to go now. I'm not tired from the travel. Then again, I rarely sleep. At one time, it was due to me being a detective with many enemies. Then, it became me unable to forget those words spoken by Raito. During the car ride there, no one spoke on the details which made me ponder what information they were withholding from me. I would like to be aware of all possibilities. My mind refused to let me ask the questions needed. I was more worried about how I would act toward Raito. Would I be able to stand proud and look at him without a flicker of emotion? Do I even what to make Raito believe I held no emotions for him? When the car stopped, I looked out the window to gasp in surprise. The mental ward was just a huge mansion and it was run down. The fence around the entire place was bar-wired to keep the insane confined. Shaking my head, I hoped that inside would be better.

As I entered the building, all my thoughts left me. No one even looked over the patients inside. The patients roamed the halls and were only screamed at. I toned out all the screaming and followed Yagami down the hall. There were no sign up sheet or anyone asking questions. This place was a dump and I couldn't stop the rage pouring out of me in waves. The so-called mental ward was not suited for anyone alone Raito. When we entered one room, I stared in shock to see Raito curled up in a ball in the corner. His eyes were staring at the wall and he did not respond to people entering his room.

'What have I done?' My mind asked.

I called, "Raito." His head snapped up quickly and turned to stare at me like a savior. I nodded my head to the others to tell them to give us time alone. None of the three argued and left us alone. I walked toward him and inquired, "How is Raito-kun?"

"I liked you calling me Raito." He said to me.

I knelt in front of him, feeling my heart break even more seeing him like this. His once shining brown hair was dirty and dull. His fierce orbs that pierced through me were dead. The person before me was not the same man that I knew months ago. What have this place done to him? Without thinking, I picked Raito up bridal style. He didn't even make a fuss which wasn't like him at all. He would fight against me because his pride would never let him show weakness. All he did was lay his head against my shoulder. Walking out the door, carrying him, I noticed he has become lighter. When I exited the room, the others looked over at us. By that time, Raito fell into a light sleep. I didn't mind. My only concern was to get him out of there. The others followed behind me and it at this time when someone decided to stop us.

A so-called nurse stopped us, "You can't take a patient out of here."

Without stopping, I ordered, "Watari take care of it. Also report this place to whoever you need to." Watari stayed behind to argue with the woman while Yagami kept his eyes on his son in my arms. Matsuda gave a sigh of relief for me taking Raito out of this place. No matter what happened, I could not forget my feelings. I would gladly take Raito away from Japan for good, but the law was the law. I had to find a good mental ward for Raito to go into. I stopped dead in my tracks and inquired, "How long was his sentence?"

"Three years." Yagami answered quickly.

There was one place where I knew I could send him and get him help. The side benefit would be I could go there anytime I wished. When we got to the car, Watari came out of the mental ward with the nurse from before screaming at the top of her lungs. I lay Raito in the back seat which got him to waken. He shook from hearing the nurse rage against us and threatened to use force to get him back inside. I refused to let that happen and turned to face the raging woman. Staring her down to get her to shut up, I firmly stated, "I am afraid you have endangered the patients. I will make sure there will be charges brought against you."

"I would like to see you try." The nurse replied smugly. "You have no power."

I could not resist the smirk that adorned my face. She said I held no power and that was a complete lie. I controlled every police department in the world. Before she stepped forward to try to get Raito, I coldly responded, "I am afraid you are very mistaken. I am L and I can do what the hell I want to." I felt the need to protect Raito. Even back when he confessed, I wanted to run away with him forever. Did that show I fell in love with him? Turning away from the stun woman, I sighed, "Let's be on our way." Everyone who was with me did not argue but got into the car. It was the best way to leave.

When I sat down, Raito laid his head on my lap, preventing me sit the way I usually do. He stared up at me, afraid I would disappear in a blink of an eye. I didn't know how to act or what to say to him.

He broke the silence between us, "Are you really here?"

I answered, "Yes, I am here, Raito." I could care less what anyone thought. If they knew about the relationship we once had, I didn't give a damn. Raito leaned up and kissed me in front of everyone. Watari remained calm like always. Matsuda gave a sheepish smile. Yagami stared surprised at us but didn't say a word.

Later that night, I got Raito into the best mental ward out there and sat beside him. He stared at me afraid like he would be slapped if he talked without permission. I sighed, "I got Raito into a good mental ward. The doctors there are the best." He started scream his lungs out at me, but I saw the fear within his lifeless honey orbs. I had to stop his fear right there but I feared too since I saw Kira once more. I explained that I could not take him away until his sentence was up. If he desired freedom again, he would have to stick out three years. He just looked at me but refused to say a word. I touched his hand, giving the only comfort that I could.

The next day, they signed him in quickly due to my connections. I made sure the doctor was aware that all information on his progress came to me first. Before I left the building, my arm was grabbed by Raito.

As he stared straight into my eyes, Raito asked, "Will you come to visit?"

I gave him a kind smile and replied, "I will come to see you when I have time." It was a small promise to him. I could not go everyday like Matsuda or Yagami due to my pending cases that I worked on. It would seem Raito understood and gave a heart warming smile to me.

Three years went by us like nothing. Every visit from me improved Raito and we were like before, having heated discussions against each other. The nurses would give us worried looks. I even got a few of them to preach to me about upsetting their patient. Of course, I got annoyed at them but I was glad that they cared enough for their patient. I explained to them countless times that we always fight like this. It helped Raito move on and the doctor thought it was best to leave us alone. Our heated discussions would never change, I believed. It was just who we were.

The day he was released, he showed me his shinigima, Ryuk. I was frighten that Kira would returned. I didn't want that to happen again. It was hell the first time around. If it happened again, I didn't think I could live through it a second time. It was when Ryuk decided to speak that my heart calmed.

He whispered into my ear while Raito was talking to the nurse about his release, "Kira died in him. He wanted me to kill him many times for what he did."

"Why didn't you?" I asked in a whisper afraid to gain the attention of anyone else, curious about the reason.

With a shrug of his boney shoulders, Ryuk mumbled, "Cause he was the best entertainment I ever got."

Large black wings flew out of Ryuk and he waved his claw hand at us while he flew up to the skies to go to his own world. I was glad it was all over. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy. By one look at Raito, he was also happy. We moved on from being just Kira and L. We became Raito and Lawliet. It was beautiful.

Raito looked at me with a small smile and spoke, "I read the agreement. I have to be in the presence of an officer of the law at all times for me to walk out these doors."

I thought for sure he would choose his father, but he interlocked his arm into mine. He gave me a look that scared off all doubts. Raito would stay by my side until the day I die. It would become very interesting and there would be a way for Raito to repent his sins. He would be working for me to solve cases. With a brilliant mind like his added with mine, I was positive that we would have many cases.

The first night, we spent talking and discussing living arrangements with Raito's family. Raito agreed that he would live wherever I did. Yagami was not too thrilled on that, but Mrs. Yagami stuck up for her son. It would seem she was just happy to have her son back.

Saya stared between us while we got into a heated discussion and yelled, "STOP FIGHTING LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE ALREADY!"

That had me looking at her with a tilt of my head. I was ready to say that he would be the wife when I got a smack to the head. I turned to look at Raito to see his glare. Oh, yes, Raito returned to the same man I knew those three years ago. Kira was gone but the proud man was still there. I informed the youngest Yagami member, "Raito and I are a couple already." She laughed out loud and said something about time Raito came out of the closest. He had flush at that comment and I laughed heartily.

While we lay together in our bed, I stayed up even though we did some extra actives after the Yagami family left. I showed Raito who was in control. As I sat up in the bed at three in the morning, I replayed back the memories I had with him. Some horrible and some the happiest ones I held. While my fingers ran across his tan skin without waking him, I realized something. Raito, no matter what, would always be my enemy and my lover.

**The End. **

**Author Notes: **

Well, that is the ending. It took me awhile to write this. I hope I did all right with it. This is my first time doing first person in Death Note and doing the fic in past tense. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review/comment.


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